Jim Gaffigan

"Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'"(Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images)

Jay Leno

"Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England." (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Jon Stewart

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images)

Arnold Schwarzenegger

I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. (Photo by SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert: "Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car." (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

Kevin James

"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants." (Photo by Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images)

Johnny Carson

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."(Photo by CARLO ALLEGRI/AFP/Getty Images)